Brisbane Stopover

After an exhausting 14-hour flight, we staggered off the plane, grabbed a taxi to our hotel in downtown Brisbane … and what do you think was the very first thing the mad Irish women did? They dashed straight into the bathroom and filled up the hand basin. Then, like a couple of kids playing with a new toy, they took turns at pulling out the plug so they could watch the water swirl down the plug hole the wrong way round.

I’m bewildered. Perhaps this behaviour is compulsory for all humans who travel to the southern hemisphere for the first time. Anyway, once they had got the water swirling ritual out of their systems – and a few hours sleep under their belts – we were finally ready to hit the streets of Brisbane.

I was glad I’d had a chance to get acclimatised in Dubai. The heat in Brisbane was powerful! It was hard to get my head around the fact the revellers along the riverside were out enjoying their office Christmas parties.

Summer clothes and skimpy costumes were the order of the day, and many of the groups were even dressed up in matching comic costumes. Of course, come to think of it, in Europe they all wear the same costume at this time of the year too: anorak, hat, scarf and gloves.

Her Ladyship and Mummykins were enthralled by the exotic flora along the riverfront, but it was the exotic birdlife that caught my eye. Or, in the case of the noisy miners, my ear.

My heart went out to the numerous white ibis I spotted along the promenade. Like seagulls, they get a lot of bad press because they have, naturally enough, become urban scavengers. Well, if you humans insist on leaving food all around the place, what do you expect? I’m used to hearing constant complaints about us poor seagulls, but I hear that white ibis in Australia have got saddled with some rather mean nicknames into the bargain, such as ‘bin chicken’, ‘tip turkey’ and ‘picnic pirate’, god love them.

There was nothing mean at all about the Scottish barman who served us when we stopped off for a breather along the way. Our first drinks in Australia were on the house! Cheers mate, I mean, mon!

At the hotel reception the following morning, Her Ladyship was asked, ‘Do you want to pay in Australian dollars or European dollars?’ She opted for Aussie dollars. She must have been all out of European ones.

Off we went to the airport again which, of course, was decorated for the Christmas season. I particularly liked the tree. I suppose no Aussie Christmas tree is complete without its kangaroo, emu and koala bear. But there were to be no kangaroos for us. We were going to be spending Christmas in New Zealand!

The flight to Christchurch went smoothly and judging from my first glimpses of the South Island from the air, we were certainly in for a treat. But first we had to make it over to the Wild West…

As we sat waiting in Christchurch airport the following morning, text messages started to come through to say that there was some very rough weather on the western side of the island. Her Ladyship was warned that there was a fair chance that our flight to Hokitika would be cancelled.

When the flight announcements finally started, they were hilarious. ‘The flight to Hokitika will leave Christchurch but conditions in Hokitika aren’t great, so if we can’t land we will be returning to Christchurch.’

I noticed Herself smiling at that one, in spite of her obvious apprehension. Mummykins was smiling too, but then I suspect she’d forgotten to turn her hearing aids on…

On board the wee commuter plane, the pilot introduced us to the air hostess, June. ‘But there will be no flight service today, I’m afraid,’ he continued. ‘We’ll be keeping June in her seat as we are expecting quite a bit of turbulence.’

Lovely.

It got even better. The next announcement was, ‘Sorry for the delay, but we are taking on extra fuel, as we expect to be doing some ducking and diving’. Ducking and diving! It sounded like we were about to take a rollercoaster ride rather than a flight. I noticed that the locals on board barely batted an eyelid at all this disconcerting news. These New Zealanders are some tough birds!

To cut a long story about a short flight short, our super cool pilot did manage to land us safely in Hokitika. Our New Zealand adventure had certainly got off to an adventurous start.