Arnold Schwarzenegger Museum, Thal bei Graz

First I go to Hollywood. In Ireland. Next, I go to see a Hollywood star. In Austria.

We’re in Thal bei Graz, birthplace of Arnold Schwarzenegger and home of the Arnold Schwarzenegger Museum. Opened in 2011, the museum has the full support of the famous man himself. He has donated a large number of personal items, including photos, furniture and other memorabilia which give great insight into his successful careers in bodybuilding, acting and politics.

The building itself is quite lovely. A former forester’s lodge, it was the official residence of the local constabulary where Arnold’s father, a police officer, was posted. The kitchen upstairs is fitted out as it would have looked while Arnold was growing up there. The young Arnold took advantage of the deeply recessed doorways to hang a home-made pull-up bar. Another typically Austrian feature of the house is the beautiful ceramic oven.

I strongly suspect that these features have completely passed Her Ladyship by. She only has eyes for the big star himself. With emphasis on the big. My goodness, did you ever see such muscles? I’m not surprised to learn that he won the Mr Universe title five times and Mr Olympia title seven times. And that he’s earned the nickname ‘The Austrian Oak’ (or, as they call him around here, ‘The Styrian Oak’). He’s living proof that ‘Mighty oaks from little acorns grow’.

There might be hope for me yet.

If you haven’t twigged it already, Her Ladyship is a big Arnie fan. She claims that it is nothing to do with his phenomenal physique, his smouldering good looks. It’s his acting skills that she appreciates. Sez she. And his sexy accent.

Speaking of which, she still hasn’t forgiven His Lordship for not having an ‘Arnie accent’. She must have thought she’d hit the jackpot when she snared him all those years ago. Just imagine: her very own Austrian 6’1” hunk, sweeping her up into his arms every morning for a goodbye kiss, giving her that intense Arnold Schwarzenegger look and declaring in a thick Styrian accent, ‘I’ll be back’.

His Lordship even comes from Weiz, the town the Schwarzenegger family moved to after their stint in Thal, so you’d think he’d have had the decency to have the same accent as the famous actor. But alas, it was not to be. No. His Lordship had the audacity to acquire an Irish accent while he lived in Dublin. Within weeks of taking his first steps on Irish soil he was ‘howz it goin’?’-ing and ‘mine’s a pint’-ing along with the best of them. The cheek of him!

He now can’t even put on an Austrian accent, no matter how hard he tries. I’ve even heard Herself engaging in Professor Higgins-style coaching (‘Go on darling, you can do it! Oyll be beck, Oyll be beck’). But to no avail. He still sounds like a bog standard Paddy.

I think it’s about time Herself forgave His Lordship for his terrible failing. While watching videos at the museum, she discovered that Arnold Schwarzenegger speaks German with a strong American accent.

At least His Lordship still has a proper Styrian accent. When he speaks German.

Apart from the museum, Thal itself is well worth a visit. Set in beautiful forests, it offers a series of nature walks – called the Arnold Schwarzenegger Wanderweg, of course. It also boasts a lovely lake, the Thalersee. It was here that Arnold first saw strongmen in training and was inspired to get into body building. The rest, as they say, is history.

There is lots to see, lots to do here. Thal is definitely worth another visit. I’ll be…

I want to say it. I really do. But there is only one person on this earth who can say it ‘properly’. Over to you, Arnold:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YEG9DgRHhA